scorned_goddess (scorned_goddess) wrote in harryfrodojack,

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Fun Harry Potterness!!

Things the Hp Characters Would Never say.

Harry - "Draco, you are one sexy Slytherin..."
Hermione: "Oh, come ON, Ron, Harry you can finnish that boring homework tomorrow, let's go for a walk!"

Umbridge: "Let's practice some defensive Spells! ... Well done Harry, I'm sure you'll be a great Auror.

Hermione: " Ron can you help me with my homework assignment?"

Ron: "I don't see anything wrong with Snape, honestly."

Sirius: Out of the house? That's too dangerous! I think I'll stay inside and finish my book instead.

Harry: "Yes! I get to wear Uncle Vernon's old socks today!"

Snape:" Would you all look at Longbottom's cauldron? He was the only one of you dunderheads who got the ingredients right.

Vernon: "Ladies and Gentelmen, may I present our new Grunnings poster boy: Harry Potter! He will be a major part of our "Grunnings Drills Make Your Work Easier Than Magic" campagin! Let's give him a round of applause!"

Severus: Come here, Potter
Harry: What for?
Severus: I wanna give you a hug

Snape: "Killing is WRONG... and bad. There should be a new, stronger word for killing. Like badwrong, or badong. Yes, killing is badong. From this moment, I will stand for the opposite of killing: gnodab".

Snape: "Aggghhhhh! I'm going bald!"

Voldemort: (Watching TV) "JE-RRY! JE-RRY! JE-RRY!"

Snape: Doesn't Hagrid remind you of that ghost from The Muppet's Christmas Carol?
McGonagall: Er...
Snape: Should I break it to him, or should you?

Severus: I have no doubt in what I do. I do it 'coz I damn well feel like it!
Minerva: O.K, Severus, who ate my pot roast?!
Severus: I swear, it was him! *points to two month old Harry*

Dumbledore: (watching the X-files) "SCULLY! IT’S NOT MULDER! RUN! The other way you idiot, he just locked that door!"

Black: Listen, Snape! I don't like you and you don't like me!
Snape: I like you
Black: (pause) Fine! But I don't like you!
Snape: Maybe if you got to know me, you'd like me...
Black: ...?! (pause) Forget it! Just lay off my hair gel!

Voldemort: "Does anyone know a good plastic surgeon?! Anyone?!"

Ron: "I'm going to count to ten, and when I turn around, whoever took my rubber ducky had better have it put back, or else."

Hermione -so wat d'ya think o my new manicure..funky eh? *shakes her hand to dry it*
Harry- WOW! thats so cool! i want some, i want some..
Ron- girls..
Harry- want some?.
Ron- ya sure..{sarcastic}
Harry- *starts putting on rons nails*
Ron- wat the heck i was sarcastic man!!!!
Harry- wat does sar-kas-dick means!
Ron- oh crap!!!!*runs*
Hermione - wat the?

Snape: Harry, things between will never be the same since our drunken one night stand, but I want you to know that if you ever need tutoring in 'special areas', I'm here for you."

Malfoy: Dammmmn Potter... You look so sexy on that broom!

Severus Snape: Lily, will you go out with me?
Lily Evans: Why Severus, I thought you'd never ask.... Of course I'll go out with you... I have a little secret to confess... I've had a crush on you since I was 13 years old!
James Potter: Hi, Severus, old buddy old pal! (waves & runs up to Snape & Lily & pats Severus on the back) So, how is everything, Severus?
Severus: Everything is going quite well.... Lily and I are going out together... and...
James: REALLY? Ooh, ooh, excellent! Maybe one day we can double date. I'm dating Narcissa, you know, Bellatrix's sister...
Lily: REALLY? Wow, she's like my BEST FRIEND! I'm looking forward to doing something as a group sometime soon!

Voldemort- Harry, can I have your autograph?

George: Harry, did you hear me about that bludger.... AAAAAHHHHH (bludger starts chasing George exclusively).
Harry: (calmly sitting on his broom gliding slowly through the air, eating an ice-cream sundae) Huh? What? George did you say something? A bludger? Well, what do you expect me to do about it? I dropped my bat to hit the bludger so I could eat this ice-cream sundae!

Harry: (Singing)A hunting I will go, a hunting I will go.... I'll find old Voldy & .... (Stops singing)Oooh! What's this I see? It's a wand, abandoned in the middle of the Forbidden Forest.... Hmmmm..... Now I wonder who this might belong to.... (picks up & carries back to Hogwarts with him). Voldemort: (singing to tune of Oh where oh where has my little dog gone) Oh where oh where has my little wand gone, oh where oh where can it be? With its phoenix feather - I miss it so.... Oh where oh where can it be?
Oh where oh where is my little pal Harry, oh where oh where can he be? With his scar I gave him - he almost destroyed me - (Rather nervously) Oh, where oh where can he be?

Bellatrix (green with envy, stands seething as Harry is dancing with Voldemort, super jealous that Harry always seems to be Voldemort's favorite! She mutters) Just because the wittle baby can speak Parseltongue - awww Voldy thinks Harry's wike a long-lost son! (Finally she can take it no longer) Avada Keda--- (she's pointing her wand at Harry, but Voldemort & Harry are dancing together...)
Harry: Protego! (he's always on his guard around Bellatrix) Uncle Voldy, Bellatrix is trying to kill you!
Voldemort: (warningly) Bellatrix - not too wise there....
Bellatrix: But Master, I wasn't trying to kill you... Heheheh, I was trying to kill Harry!
Voldemort: You're trying to kill my nephew? That's it Bellatrix... (raises his wand & conjures up some drinks) Come on, Bellatrix, Harry... we'll drink together & try to be friends, okay? (They all agree & drink from the cups - the cups contained a peace & love potion, so now everyone is happy & nice to each other.)
Snape: (having witnessed this...) Well, I'll be... VOldemort, you've changed!
VOldemort: Yes, dear dear Snape... That's why I wanted to learn your potion-making craft! I figured, instead of trying to fight the whole world, which just wasn't working for me, I might as well join the good side!
If you can't beat them, join them! I find myself much less stressed out, & practice yoga & meditation daily...

Draco: Oh I forgot to say by to my godfather
Harry/Ron/Hermione: Who is your godfather?
Draco: erm.....Snape???
Harry/Ron/Hermione: WHAT!?!?!?!?!?
Draco: Severus Snape
Harry/Ron/Hermione: So if we are nice to you, Snape will be nice to us?!?!?!?!?
Draco: erm....sounds like yep!
Harry/Ron/Hermione: Bloody hell! Malfoy wanna be our friend???
Draco: erm....What will daddy say?
Harry/Ron/Hermione: Who Cares?
Draco: Not me lets go!

(note: this was made before the 5th book came out.)
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